If there’s any day to get weird (good weird) with your sex life, it’s Valentine’s Day.
If you’ve been curious about kink, but aren’t sure where to begin, don’t worry. We have all the information and ideas you need to spice up your night. There’s no need to be nervous; there are super easy and accessible ways to introduce kink into the bedroom.
You can try all five of these ideas, a few, or none at all. It’s up to you! But if you’re into getting down with kink these V-Day, here are some very sexy places to begin.
Have you heard of edging? If not, read this. Orgasm denial is like edging—but kinkier.
It’s when you work your partner up to orgasm, only to stop all sexual touching right at the peak. They then come down again, only to have you begin the sexual dance all over again. Once you finally reach the point of orgasm, it can be incredibly intense and explosive.
To make it even kinkier, have the person doing the denying be the Dom and the one being denied, the submissive. Meaning, you’re their “prisoner” (with consent) and your orgasm is theirs to give or take.
Phew. Is it hot in here or is it just us? You can add in dirty talk (call your partner “daddy,” “sir” or “madam” to take it up a notch.) You can even beg them to let you come. Trust us, you’ll be so glad you gave in to the pain and pleasure.
Do you have a fantasy you’ve been wanting to try with your partner, but haven’t yet? Valentine’s Day is the perfect time! Role play let’s you take on a different persona and live out a sexual experience as someone else.
Have a sit down with your partner and talk about your shared fantasies. Find a common ground you’d like to play out. Maybe you want to pretend to be a housewife and your partner is the handy-person who’s come to fix the sink. Maybe it’s a fantasy where you’re pretending to shoot a porno with an imagined audience.
Whatever it is, indulge in it. You don’t have to bring in outside people (if you don’t want to)—you’re just playing!
Temperature play is a hot way (pun intended) to kink up your fun this Valentine’s Day. Grab some ice cubes and have your partner run the ice cubes over your nipples, chest, stomach, or anywhere else that turns you on; They can even hold the ice cube in their mouth. If you or your partner is OK with being blindfolded, place a cotton tee-shirt over the eyes.
You can also purchase a jade roller for a similar sensation. Pop it in the freezer, and then run it down your partner’s back and inner thighs. Once it’s warmed up from their body, you know it’s time to start licking them with your warm tongue. Happy Valentine’s Day to one and al!
For more on temperature play, check out our guide, here.
Retraining each other.
Treat yourself to some under-the-bed restraints this February 14—we love these simple ones from LoveHoney. On handcuff goes on one side of the bed and a band running under the mattress to the other cuff. (You can use them for feet or hands.)
We love these restraints because they’re easy for beginners and are easily concealed from visiting guests. Just pop the cuffs under the mattress and they’re complete hidden. These cuffs are velcro, so you never have to worry about tying knots too tight or feeling so trapped that you become claustrophobic.
We recommend you start with wrists only—being tied down hands and feet for the first time can be a little overwhelming. Want to kink it up even more? Try a silky blindfold (like this one from Lelo ) to place over your partner’s eyes.
Just remember that if anyone feels uncomfortable at any time, communicate. Luckily with these restraints, you can likely remove them without help from a partner. If you’re nervous, have them keep them loose enough where you can pop your hand out at any time.
Try some spanking.
Our brains light up in the same places when we experience pain and pleasure, so it’s no wonder it ups the sexual spark when we add in a little biting and spanking. What better day to involve spanking into your sex life than on Valentine’s Day? Spanking sends a shock through the system, upping your senses and making the following sexual touching more intense.
Have the spank-ee lie over the spanker’s lap. You can also be on all-fours, if preferred. Have them give you three to five spanks to start, increasing force with each. The person being spanked should always let their partner know if they want it harder or softer. If you’re a spanking beginner, always start with your hand. You can upgrade to paddles, crops, and floggers when you’ve mastered the basics.
For more information on spanking, check out our beginner’s guide.